What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize