She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
