so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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