dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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