On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
