Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
