I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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