only you would photoshop your dick
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
