I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
