Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
