it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
