Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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