Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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