My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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