Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
