Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
