and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
