So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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