just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
