i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I met the friendliest cop last night
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize