I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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