Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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