yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
