I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
