So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
