My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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