The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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