i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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