My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm eating all of the evidence.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
