Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
