Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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