I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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