so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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