Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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