They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
a search helicopter?!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
