I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize