i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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