How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
