i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
