We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Let's get the cat blown out
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
