He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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