i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
