I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
