champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize