so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
