Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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