I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize