Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
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