3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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