Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
