scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
