I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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