i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
