Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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