I got chris browned last night
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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