you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
