she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
